Tell me i'm lobbyworthy

oct 06 2025

I keep thinking i want a dog. It’s probably nothing. No one is telling me to get one. On sunday I thought about my supposed labradoodle so hard I cried. The first day of October was Wednesday. The trees are in a strange motion. Some have turned yellow and lost their leaves by now, but others are still green, like they can keep lying to me that its perfectly August. There’s proof it’s October, though. These mornings lately i wake up and i step up shallow concrete stairs, jumping up two at a time. When i look up, the sky is darker than it should be at 7:55 AM. Who needs a boyfriend anyway?

Ice cream is a good way to tell if summer’s over. In summer you can be sort of remote about the sticky residue on your fingertips, the edges of your lips and your chin even. Your whole body is already sticky so it doesnt really matter. Anyways I am walking down this big brick hill, each step is a hard smack onto brick. I know its not summer because i could walk outside barefoot without dancing to avoid the scalding concrete. So i know its not summer anymore because I dont really need the ice cream, I just wanted something sweet.

Hot summer and fake fall and that final heat wave rolled by and nothing settled through. That’s ephemera. Thats real fuckin prayer. I think these months are rolling by now and I know they only go faster. My archival inkstain will fall apart at one point. Now that it’s really fall, bloody nose fall i mean, I think i’m over all of it. I think really, I dont need any of you to find that bright-faced button-and-wicker beach-stained foggy flannel validation ive been impatiently seeking.